when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
