i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
