You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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