Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Im part way to drunk.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
