I think scott just propositioned me for sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
