Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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