the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
