so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
