yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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