The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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