You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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