My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
