No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
