They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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