My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
