Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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