So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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