Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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