just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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