either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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