Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
