You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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