either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
