Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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