how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
