So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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