yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
