wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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