bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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