We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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