How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
