Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
