Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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