i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
