I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sober January is a disaster.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
