Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
