You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
