Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
