I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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