I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
