just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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