You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
