i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
