I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
