Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
