I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
