haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
