me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
