Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
