apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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