It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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