What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
